Isn’t it amazing how a cloudy sky brings hope for the most colorful sunsets? Layered opportunity for light and color. Vibrance to be filled in. Imagine if we saw our life in the same way. Hurdles as our clouds. Adding layers to our character. Our battles provide potential for a more beautiful life. We must remember we are the artists of our own story. The clouds will come but we get to paint them whatever colors we want. I view my clouds as art and I’m grateful for each and every one of them.
As we experience life, we are sure to experience hardships. Cloudy days, maybe entirely grey seasons. For me, it’s been one storm after the next. The first part of my life I was suicidal and obese. After transforming my life into a healthy and happy one, my brother died. Then my chronic pain cranked into high gear, debilitating me from truly living. With my big surgery coming up and the hopes that I will be pain free post-op, it’s hard to believe my life will be smooth sailing from there. My instinct is to prepare for the next all consuming storm. Luckily my previous storms taught me what kind of umbrellas work best and how to hold them strong. I’ve learned I can withstand the heaviest rain and walk through the darkest clouds because the light and drive that guides me is in my control. The storms are on the outside but my protection comes from within.
Those who know me tell me I’m one of the strongest people they know. That they can’t believe the adversities I’ve overcome. Strangers who see my life from a distance think I’m spoiled rotten. As if life has been easy for me. The truth is I’m both. Growing up financially comfortable was a luxury I will never take for granted. There is simply no ignoring the many potential stressors that minimized. But I’m also spoiled because of my adversities. My tumultuous history of mental and physical health problems along with more grief than anyone my age should know. Because struggle began early for me, growth began early too. Life has certainly not been easy for me, but I am lucky enough to be able to understand what a beautiful life truly means while I still have so much of it to live!
My life feels beautiful to me because that’s how I want it to feel. I know what it’s like to have no hope and to give up on fighting for my own happiness. I’m a forever fighter now that I stand strong in my own corner. Now that I know winning is always in my power. I already hold the strength to fight through any and all storms, but what’s more important is my confidence believing that. My perspective is my reality.
Even when the clouds present a dark sky, it’s those times without color that welcome creation. Give me room to picture what I need and hope for. Time to reflect and be open-minded. Space to be thoughtful and appreciative. The truth is, every color I could ever need is available in my mind and I can use them whenever I want.