Unsticking Sadness

Do you ever feel unhappy and consider attitude adjustment but it just feels too exhausting? I do. Like being sad in this moment without exerting any energy is a choice I’d rather make. How lazy is that?! I’m sure if I put in the energy to feel good, I would be glad I did. It would feel worthy, but I’m just too tired. 


Where do I draw the line between letting myself be sad and working myself to a better place? Sometimes I feel the kind of sad where I’m ready to prove myself capable. A sad that feels so temporary, I’m already ready to shape it into a positive. Other times, my sad feels deep. Numbing and fuel-less. Like a car stuck in the woods with no gas. I can’t stay stuck in the woods forever. I’ll need to walk to a gas station and carry back fuel. That walk is the extra distance between me and a good mood. The interesting thing though, before I get there, the walk revives me. The journey and “work” to revitalize my spirit is the thing that motivates me the most. So all I have to do when I’m feeling that darker, lost in the woods type of sadness is get out of the car. Reunite with fresh air.  


It’s right there. A door I can reach. A door that’s mine. I’m not trapped. The unlock button is right beside me. I am the one in control of letting myself out. Already sitting, just need to change direction and drop my feet to the ground. Remember that feeling. Grounded. How easy it is to walk. One foot in front of the other. It’s all I need to get to the gas station. All I need to refuel. 


Sometimes it’s writing that encourages me to open that door. Sometimes it’s music. It could be words from a loved one or a simple smile from my dog. Whatever it takes to remember that pressure, the “effort” it must take to pull me out, is overdramatized. What once felt like a fight will fade into gratification. Rewarding and fulfilling time spent enjoyed, releasing tension, relaxed with confidence. This feeling of “stuck” and “lost” is actually the beginning of an adventure. An adventure I walk through stronger and enlightened because of. All I have to do is open the door. I’m not too lazy to do that.