There were so many occurrences where the only thing stopping me from taking my own life was knowing I'd be leaving behind the ONLY thing I cared about, the people I love most. With recently viral topics like 13 Reasons Why and Aaron Hernandez's suicide stirring response over social media, I felt it was time to share my view on just how important it is to not make jokes around this matter.
Reading these sarcastic, inconsiderate remarks, and watching people take this subject so lightly, reminds me that it was those types of triggers that could have pushed me over the edge. To say suicide is a sensitive subject is the understatement of the century. When you are dealing with suicidal thoughts they can cluster so stormy in your mind that even the smallest thing can flush out any light, any reason to take another breath. I didn't need to be lectured not to, I didn't need to just "get my mind off of it", "go to sleep and think with a clear head tomorrow", and I ESPECIALLY did not need to believe that it wasn't a big deal. It IS a big deal. I stuck around and everything changed for me. My friends and family got to watch me fill my darkness with color. I live everyday as if it's the greatest miracle just to enjoy getting out of bed in the morning. There could have been a tweet or a Facebook post asking "where are my tapes" that enabled me to finally go through with it. My friends and family would have had to mourn knowing it was too late to help me. The life they all saw for me robbed in the moment. It is critical that we, as a society of human beings, believe in each other. Believe in positive change, success, bright futures. If it weren't for the people who held on to these beliefs for me when I did not see them, who knows what my story would be today. Whether you think Aaron Hernandez deserved to die or not, the topic of suicide is a deep matter to far more innocent and hurting people and we need to be cautious the way we respond. Promoting humor around the topic is threatening. Every person lives a different story and especially with the media you can't possibly know the truth. If a clever meme comes to mind, enjoy it at your own expense. Social media posts are public and can be seen by anyone, at any time, even the wrong time. Don't let your carelessness be the reason somebody finally takes the plunge.