It’s me again.
I don’t want to be here either.
I know I hurt you. I know I strip all your energy.
I know I limit your potential.
I’ve seen you try endlessly to get rid of me.
You’ve put your body through tremendous suffering all at the hopes of us parting ways.
You’ve had people tell you I’m just in your head. Wouldn’t that be nice?
You’ve had professionals tell you there’s nothing you can do. It’s too late, you’re stuck with me forever.
You’ve had a short list of people give you hope that they will be the ones to scare me off.
But I’m still here.
I keep you up at night and I bring you down at day.
Your hopes and dreams? Sorry, I won’t allow them.
You want to date? Does he want to date me too?
You want to travel? Better make sure you have a way to freeze me out.
You want to show up for your friends and family? First you have to show up for me, then we’ll see how much you have left to give.
You have so much to be grateful for. So much giving back you feel you owe.
You have your head on straight, high morals and a generous heart.
But if you even try to prioritize anything over me I will suffocate you.
You can try to ignore me but I’ll keep screaming.
Try to lose me but I run faster.
I control you.
But I know you won’t stop trying.
I fear you.
I think you might find a way.
You make it difficult to hang on.
So strong, I’m losing my grip.
So persistent, I’m getting tired myself.
I feel my time is running out.
Sorry we’ve been fighting for so long.
If you never give up I might just have to.
~ Your Chronic Pain