I’ve only been in love once and I wouldn’t have loved him less if he turned to mush. While I liked him first because of his looks, I ultimately fell in love with him from the inside out. His thoughts, his goals, his demeanor. I wonder if we all looked identical, would we see more healthy connections? Would more people be able to find successful love?
I think a lot about how much physical attraction really even plays a role in relationships. From what level it must start in order to grow. How much time it takes to build attraction to someone by getting to know their other qualities. Can we completely shut down preconceived notions of “our type” or what we find physically attractive for the right soul? I mean some of it really is biological!
With dating apps instigating such a carefree way to be shallow, are we even able to give real love a chance? Our looks don’t last, so where’s the substance? I’m sure we’ve all experienced, in one way or another, growing attraction for another. Whether they reveal a beautiful singing voice or you take part in a riveting conversation with them, there are moments and qualities shared in which we may learn to see a person in a different way. So I ask myself what matters more, my first judgements on a person’s appearance, or a person’s ability to carry my desires in ways I can’t grasp from a photo? Where are the dating apps that exclude profile pictures?
In my opinion, it would be ideal if looks didn’t matter at all to me. If I could scratch that detail off my wants and needs when considering a romantic partner. However, realistically I know it’s not that easy. But if being in love removed that requirement, why must I need it in the first place?
Can anyone truly commit to a relationship before committing to themselves? Taking time to understand our own qualities and dedicating ourselves to personal growth seems like it should be a requirement before making promises to someone else. Becoming full before offering to share. Is being shallow a sign of immaturity? If looks are the first thing that matter to someone when choosing a partner for life, I wonder if enough time has been taken thinking about their own value and what they have to offer.
If I had to rank my best qualities, I would choose those that make a difference in the world. Not qualities given to me, qualities I earned. The parts of myself I nurtured and enhanced. The ways in which I can provide a positive effect on the well-being of others. So when choosing a romantic partner, I must at first blind my thoughts on their appearance. Go straight to the qualities that matter. If I’m able to date in that way, I believe it will be easier for me to find someone I can be excited about. Someone who can hold an everlasting love.