The struggle between when to “let things flow” and fighting for what’s desired can be very confusing. A blurred line that can lead to overthinking and anxiety. A choice, that with balance, can be made wisely as well as naturally. When is giving up really letting go? When is letting things flow really lack of determination?
I go through phases. The “fuck it” phase tends to bring less stability but more freedom. More short-term joy and resistance to attachment, good and bad. This attitude feels very temporary. Relief and momentarily satisfying, but reality lingers in the background, distant and daunting.
I also have periods of time where my choices seem very driven. I’m in a place where I feel like making goals and seeing them through. Proving to myself I’m committed and hard-working is my true desire. The problem with these times is my ability to confuse what it is I’m seeking. Is this job/activity/commitment still making me happy, or am I in it because it’s a responsibility I dedicated myself to? Do I really like this man, or am I just holding myself accountable to follow through with giving him a chance? Is the place I’m living still suiting my needs?
It’s important to check in. Get to the root of my desires and ask myself if my strategy to achieve those goals is being honored. My “fuck it” phase may not be realistic, but it guides me to my natural calling. Letting things flow in and out of my life without worrying about what sticks in each moment. Opportunities always come and go, and sometimes it’s best not to be hung up on timing. Not to be overwhelmed by opportunities at all but just be present in the moment with myself and my surroundings. Maybe I can be driven to observe that. Loyal to my health and my happiness and whatever that requires. Follow my gut when something or someone doesn’t seem to add value to my best life anymore. Authenticity unlocks freedom. Let it go doesn’t mean be careless. Moving on from those things that no longer serve me is a commitment to living my best life, and that is a goal I can always be sure of.
With my recognition of my need to move apartments, discussed in my blog posts “Fight or flight?” and “Coping with Anxiety”, I was stuck with the burden of finding a new home. Having 2 months left on my lease, I knew I had time to be picky. It’s the season where places start popping up with availability and I didn’t want to settle too quickly. There is a specific beach I was hoping to live on. Holding out hope that I could find a place, on budget, and on the water. I bring my dog here regularly to swim and just a few weeks ago was blessed with the magical moment of swimming with dolphins right by the shoreline! I felt through my entire being that this was a sign. I trusted my patience would lead me to the perfect place fulfilling all my needs. Not even a full week later, I saw a listing. 2 days later, I took a tour. The exact spot where the dolphins were. On the ocean with a door to the beach. It’s perfect. I took it.
Life is a combination of luck and decisions. What happens to us and how we take those circumstances into our own hands. The attitude we present and carry throughout hardships. Our open mindedness and ability to create and cultivate opportunities. With a balance of allowance and proactivity, our best life is in our control completely.
Do you have a friend that just knowing they’re in your life makes you feel unstoppable? You never feel alone and you always know who to turn to. You feel like you can do anything. Like failing isn’t possible with them by your side. Your lifeline and your mirror. Reflecting all you should admire of yourself. Shining light on your beauty. They encourage you to be the best version of yourself and remind you of your capabilities. They offer support but allow you the space to support yourself, because their faith in you is unwavering.
These friends build you up, but only with the blocks from your collection. They absorb and retrieve back to you the power you supply. They call you out when you’re being unjust, but are soft on you when you need the cushion. They let you complain and they let you vent, but they also give it to you straight when the complaining is only hurting you. They encourage tears because tears are real, but they hand you tissues when you’re drowning in them. They inspire good decision making and self love. They leave you with zero doubt of their intentions. “Treasure friends” make you feel good about yourself. Being around them makes you more confident. Trusting them, and in return trusting yourself. They inspire you to do more, work harder, accomplish and create goals and set after the best opportunities.
These types of friends could be years in the making, but they can also be connections you’ve just made. There is no rule book on how these people come into your life. There is no guideline on who these people are, what they like, what they do. The trick is to always be prepared to leave a door open for them. To understand yourself and your feelings enough to know when one comes knocking. So how do you know if you’ve found one? It’s a feeling.
Are you able to be completely and utterly yourself? Do you feel judged or do you feel praised? Your mistakes feel understood, and your growth and maturity is expected. Your progress feels acknowledged and your future already admired. The type of connection that makes love’s worth recognizable. What distinguishes us as people. The true gift of human life, the feeling that moves us most. If you don’t have friends you really LOVE, there are ways to proactively look for some. Immerse yourself in your passions. Don’t hide from social situations, even if they’re challenging for you. You will find others in the same boat, awaiting more passengers. Put yourself out there. Give yourself the opportunity to meet people, and to be met yourself.
Authenticity will guide you along your most successful path. Attracting the right people, and the right opportunities. Navigating through more discovery of what your life can look like and how you want your life to be.
It’s okay to be picky, but be sure to offer real chances. Are you sure of their intentions? Do you understand their struggles? Friendship is give and take. Your hand must be given in a way that can be gripped. No greasy fingers, no “too slow” tricks. If you want a fair chance to be seen and to be loved, you owe it to give that chance yourself. The same goes for any and all relationships. Open your eyes to what’s possible, and you just might be surprised at what’s offered.
Being a good friend yourself can be just as gratifying. Feeling that ability to guide someone you care about to a more loving state of mind. Seeing worth and reassuring confidence in someone who always deserves to see it.
Being a good friend is a quality I am most proud of. I like to make people happy in general. Compliments to strangers, guidance to those who struggle, appreciation to those who thrive. When it comes to my friends, I have a better idea on how to do this. I like to learn what cheers them up, and listen in on their calls to the universe. Getting to know someone, understanding their past, hearing their experiences, meshing with their desires, opens my heart to believing in their strengths and wishful healing for their bruises.
I know very well that self-growth and happy, healthy living must come from within. I also know how important support systems are to that mission. That believing in yourself has to be done by yourself, but loneliness makes it difficult to stay motivated. Discovering the love language of those you care about is key. But, just being there to offer your love in your own way can also be enough.
Not only can being a good friend benefit your friend, but it can guide you as well. Most of the advice I offer can be self reflected. A reminder of the lessons I hope to live by. Parallel situations I’m able to step out of to offer guidance and in return apply to my own attitude. Life is hard. Our commitment to fight through the challenges is easier said than done. Our instinct when someone is upset is to wish for them to find a way to no longer be upset. However, when it is ourself that is upset, it can be easier to shut down and lose our battle gloves in the clutter. Lose sight of our strength and our ability to defeat these hurdles.
When you form a relationship where each person believes and wants success from each other, for each other, the limitations of the outside world seem to fade. The crutch you create for each other picks you up and holds you high. The courage you display for each other rubs off on your own behaviors. A good friend not only comes to your rescue when you need them, but they continuously encourage self-rescuing. What you hope for them turn into goals for yourself, and vice versa. When you look at someone else and only want good for them, the moves you make to maintain their happiness can truly effect your own mood and your own story. To have a friend like this and to be a friend like this simultaneously is such an unbelievably powerful thing. Life will stay afloat with just one of these connections to hold onto.