As a teenager struggling to believe I could one day attain “happiness,” the most important thing I could have been told was that if I wanted it, all I had to do was reach for it. That it isn’t something only some people are given the opportunity to have, but only the people who fight for it get to hold onto it. That circumstances aren’t the determining factor, but my actions and my choices are. That no matter how defeated I may sometimes feel, happiness always lives inside of me if I rent out the space for it.
I’m honestly incredibly proud of myself. I think that’s something I don’t share too often, because it’s a message that doesn’t necessarily seem beneficial for others. But I am confident I have surpassed the moment where happiness can escape my possession. Where sadness is the exception to happiness, instead of a coexisting and accepted emotion. I have complete faith in my ability to balance whatever comes my way. To make the best of any situation and never lose sight of the power of my own mind.
So why now do I feel like publicly patting myself on the back? Because I see too many people struggling to believe that happiness is in their cards. Too many reminders of what I used to tell myself everyday. Not only do I deserve to take credit for getting myself to where I am today, but I want to broadcast that I was THE ONLY person who could manage to do it. As scary as it is to know there’s only one person we can rely on to find and hold onto happiness, how lucky we are that person is ourself. Control is in our own hands.
I think if someone had told me, when I was struggling, happiness is waiting for me and not the other way around, I might have seen it differently. That happiness isn’t something I’m given directly, it is something that is mine to take. It’s not something people are born with or without, but something any person can find and protect. Can explore and understand. Can grow with and be loyal to. I think that mentality could have opened my mind to a spark from a certain mood or a certain situation clicking it all into place. I think if someone had explained to me that it’s not “one day you’ll find it” but it’s there for me to find RIGHT NOW, I could have been inspired to grab my life by my own hands and give it a great big hug. Team up with myself and say “let’s do this.” I might have made the choice sooner to BE happy, instead of wait for it.