Right before a wave comes crashing down, as it curls to peak height, it shows its lightest color. No longer dense with the weight of what it once carried, light shines through and the pastel colors of the sea reveal themselves.
The release of tension can sometimes feel turbulent. Buried in chaos, it’s easy to miss the clarity. The way the ocean gathers a slow ripple. Patient and precise. Not always clean. Never perfect. But precise in the way that wave is meant to unfold. Time for revelation. Moments of silence amongst the rumbles. There hasn’t been a wave the sea didn’t embrace.
Letting things go can seem impossible. Whether it be a relationship I long for but can no longer have, mistakes and apologies from the past, or traumatic events that took place years ago. Something as simple as a car cutting me off or someone greeting me with a bad attitude can set me off if I’m struggling to let go.
So how do I let go? The teal awakening to my crashing waters? My choice of freedom. Release of tension so I may carry on. No one forces me to feel aggravated. I’m angry at the guy who cut me off. The hair stylist who ruined my hair. The boy who broke my heart. The doctor who poisoned me at 8 years old. I can choose not to be. What good does feeling hurt now do me? I choose to find the lesson. Feel the growth. Freedom from hurt feelings is always an option. Forgiveness is a way to be kind to myself.
The idea of going with the flow seems easy when it’s said out loud. I just need to relax. Remember my actions are the only I can control. I will continue along my journey of bettering myself. Manifest my power and my strength to resist anyone who creates distraction from that. My mood comes from me and no one else.
I am the sea. Embracing and settling rocky waves. Guided by simplicity. The ability to forgive. The longing for peace. Reflecting light and kissing the shores. My presence as a whole remains magical. It may seem like life takes from me in those choppier moments, but it’s all part of a beautiful horizon.
Patience is something that doesn’t come naturally to me. Whether it be road rage, an uncomfortable conversation, technical difficulty, waiting for a service, whatever it is, it’s challenging. Patience is a recipe and its ingredients are listening, letting go and as much relaxation as can be sprinkled.
Imagine these scenarios.
A driver cuts me off. It might feel like a win when I block their glance with my middle finger. In the end though, I feel better when I give an “it’s okay” wave and a smile. I’m not innocent in the act of cutting people off. I have the power to filter my negative input and send only positive vibes out into the world. The ability to refrain from adding more fuel to the fire. Road rage is a very straightforward example of moving on vs. lingering in misery. Immediate relief is continuing my drive and staying in my lane both figuratively and literally. I most likely don’t have to see this person again. The problem could end here. Maybe they’re in a rush, already having an upsetting day, I don’t need to upset this person more. I CERTAINLY don’t need to upset myself over it either. I have the ability to turn up my music, take some deep breaths, and continue my journey stress-free and with pride. I not only took power of my own mood but I gave the driver more time to do the same for themselves. Nipped in the bud, the growth from this situation not escalating anger, but a lesson learned.
My computer is frozen. When has a frozen device ever unfroze through excessive clicking? The answer is patience. Listening to my understanding that electronics are a blessing and a curse. I know they can be frustrating so why allow that frustration to get to me? If I need to reach out for help, that is a proactive step for improvement. I know, in this and every moment, breathing can’t hurt. Maybe even force a giggle. Remind myself that life is tough! Find comfort in my awareness that these moments are inevitable. I can learn to find joy from them with what skills and patience I practice. I always feel better knowing I did what I could to make the best out of a hard situation. The situation doesn’t need to be solved to find something gained.
With those situations out my control, there are more certain guidelines I can follow to maintain my cool. When it comes to tension with another person, the variables that make up my peace of mind have opportunity to be influenced. Giving someone space to take their time is not only what’s fair to them, but what’s fair to me too. I can give the benefit of the doubt. The company is doing everything they can to get my package out on time. It’s the cashier’s first day, she’s just as upset she’s taking an extra 30 minutes of my time. I can open my heart and gain perspective with some sort of relief. What about when someone offends me or tests my tolerance with something they do or say? Maybe my perception was different than what was intended. I recognize when my rebuttal to an opinion or my participation in an argument has no benefit. Sometimes it’s easier to take the loss in the short term to preserve or create peace of mind. I NEVER regret being nice. I want to listen, and when it’s time for me to respond, I want to take a moment to think about what my response is aiming towards. Is the person or thing challenging my patience a bomb that can only be diffused with their own tools? Or, is my perspective going to be helpful? Am I guilty of these actions myself? I want to find a source of connection to help guide my understanding.
Isn’t it hypocritical to ask for patience without practicing it myself? Hypocrisy isn’t just contradictory claims. Hypocrisy defines a lack of empathy. When something bothers me, I want to recognize when I am behaving in the same manner. Getting cut off before I get my thoughts out or misunderstood before I have the chance to explain are some actions that give me a pit in my stomach. However, I’m also guilty of these actions. I like to set an internal alarm that alerts me when I can be more patient, but it’s not always obvious.
I know my number one goal is to encourage happiness. I also know everyone doesn’t find happiness with the same guide book. Patience is a quality that opens the door to authenticity. Makes way for personal growth and gives everyone the chance to live their truth. Room to breathe is room to grow. Patience comes from open ears and an open mind. An opportunity to test my insecurities and lend myself to what and who is in my space. If I get frustrated, why am I frustrated? Did I allow something someone else did or said to personally affect me? For me, feeling misunderstood is a huge trigger. Rightfully so after feeling many years of my youth and teenage life were manipulated from a wrongful assumption. But, listening won’t take away any of my opportunities. If I am confident in myself and the path of bettering I am more than willing to go down, listening is giving opportunity to others while bringing lessons to myself simultaneously. My time to react will come and I want to give myself the chance to really use my time efficiently.
Writing gives me time. Time to be patient with myself. Patient with my feelings, my responses to my feelings, my understanding of myself and how I’ll grow from my present moment. My present is a present exactly. A gift to be opened, explored and enjoyed. I bring my present to life. Untying its walls, releasing its gems.
Writing gives me power. Power to speak. Power to be heard. There’s always a voice inside of me, even when my thoughts may get stuck there. Writing them down brings them to reality. A place where they can be addressed and not forgotten. Exposed and not swept under the rug. Separated from the clutter in existence. I give my thoughts the freedom to be dissected. My thoughts are all important, writing gives them the recognition they deserve.
Writing provides opportunity. Records of my past with the chance to improve. Writing gives me options. Options for self-reflection, but also evaluation. The chance to share and the chance to inspire. I hope to lead by example. Relate through my internal battles, the ones most don’t speak about. Offer guidance by my own trial and error. What works for me and what doesn’t, on record.
Writing holds me accountable. Self manipulation is hard to accomplish when the facts are written out right in front of me. I can’t pretend those feelings weren’t real. I write my truth from a moment and then I can’t deny it. Do I want to feel that way again? If yes, the actions surrounding that feeling are saved. If no, let me try something new. What I’ve tried and didn’t like is logged.
Writing is a way to speak authentically. Mindful of my energy. Discovering my truth is a journey. Sometimes it’s easier to communicate genuinely when it’s having a conversation with myself. When I write out something that might not be my full truth, I can feel that. I know I can adapt, be the person I want to be. Writing is a chance to see where I am still on my way. The parts of me that I still want to transform. It’s easy to confuse who I want to be with who I am right now. Lying to myself by accident doesn’t come with bad intentions. It’s a natural, human tendency. Writing works as a lie detector. Bringing to light my true colors. My font might be in black and white but I see my words with sincerity. My vision altered through my reflection. Pages painted with color coded highlights. Some thoughts splattered crimson red, warning signs, longing for change. Others vibrant and bright, reassurance, confidence in myself.
I empower my ability to rewrite. Reminded that no matter where I come from, what I’ve gone through and felt in my past, I am capable of transformation. I can’t permanently delete my history. Backspacing won’t erase the fact that I felt that way before. Rewriting exposes goals. Encourages change. Motivates new beginnings.
New paragraphs. BOLD DRAMATIC, underlined and important, stressed. Writing gives me release. A direct route to flood out my emotions. Reorganize and clean my mind. Moving out what’s heavy. Space made to breathe. The outlet to write my story with the new chapters I deserve.
It's not new knowledge that worrying about what is out of your control does no good. What I hope to provide is new perspective on how to feel the truth within that statement and offer new approaches to keep strength within those unwanted winds. When something challenging comes up and you don't have the opportunity to change it the way you wish, there are ways to ease your mind into understanding and accepting what is out of control in order to move forward.
Practice opening your mind to prevent unsettling feelings towards differences in views.
Practice mindfulness to lessen negativity from judgements and collect information with observation.
Practice realization that you will never have enough information to truly put yourself in someone else's shoes.
Practice separating your feelings from your emotions while knowing only your emotions can be controlled.
Practice finding the bright side from all situations.
Practice reminding yourself it will all be OKAY.