Worrying is a waste of time.

Anxiety has a way of speeding everything up. Making things too fast paced, too hard to keep up with. Racing thoughts, fast beating heart, fidgeting and an overall sense of restlesness. When I have a lot going on, when I feel anxiety creeping in, I prioritize taking my time. Deep breaths, staying in the moment and allowing myself a break from thinking. Because time is constant and my mind is in charge of how it feels.

A couple weeks ago I wrote about the uncertain times surrounding me. Living out of hotels as my landlords renovated my apartment, appointments and traveling to prepare for my upcoming surgery, amongst other chaotic situations out of my control. As I sat on the plane home from my doctor's appointment in Dallas, finally returning to my apartment, long awaited Bronco, and nearby summer plans, I was reminded that even the good times can feel overwhelming. Right then, all I had to do was sit back and let that plane take me to Los Angeles. I let myself relax.

Coming home to my belongings scattered over the dusty construction site that was supposed to be my “ready to move back in” apartment was something I could not have prepared for even if I had worried about it. My TV replaced without my consent, valuables lost and broken, landlords who show zero respect. Just another situation I have to tend to. But I can do that. I can clean the mess they left. I can replace my TV. I can communicate with the homeowners. This is life. It’s not always pretty, clean, or made easy for me, but I am grateful I felt positive and relaxed during those moments where I could. Leaving it fresh on my mind that relaxation isn’t too far to reach. 

While returning home to my apartment felt like a nightmare, picking up my Bronco exceeded my dreams! Not only is this car everything I wanted and more, it fits in my garage space! (Another worry I wasted my time on.) Just as I took my flight to relax and let go, I took a moment to sit in my car after pulling back into my apartment. I sat back, finished my song, and enjoyed this win. The mess I was about to walk back to didn't need to take away from this glory. My mindset to embrace the positive and work through the negative is what motivates me the most. There is no losing when wellness is my goal.

At any point in time there are an infinite amount of worries I could have, things I could try to plan ahead for. But if ever I feel overwhelmed, the answer is always to take a moment. I’m prepared. I have the tools I need to overcome any situation. I am most powerful when I sit with that trust. Comforted by the simple fact that I can rely on myself. I got this and taking a moment to relax can only benefit me. I appreciate the good to come, the good that’s been had and feel confident about the battles ahead. Everything will work out no matter what because I have the strength to create solutions to any problem. I am the storyteller of how I handle all the good and the bad.