I’ve lived through many emotions. Experienced loss all over the spectrum. Managed pain, heartbreak, grief, depression, anxiety, obesity and more. I know what it means to not have the energy to show up. I can relate to out of character insensitivity due to drowning in personal stresses. However, I will always hold myself accountable to communicate.
Tending to my own problems doesn’t have to mean creating problems for someone else. If I’m feeling like I might not be able to show up to plans, I make sure to vocalize that. Give the other party all the information so they have the opportunity to make their own decisions around those possibilities. Have backup plans or reschedule entirely, because that’s what is fair. If I’m running late, I’ll say so. I apologize for inconveniencing someone if my own life interfered with theirs. It is my duty to respect the time and energy of those around me when I am involved. The least I can do is communicate.
I don’t expect perfection from anyone. Mistakes or slip-ups are part of being human. Give me some credit! I excuse mental health. I forgive errors in judgement. I understand life is hard. My focus is on intentions. Why did what happened happen? Will it happen again? Do you understand how your actions affected others?
I have boundaries. I don’t give out unlimited mess ups. I don’t allow anyone to walk all over me, but I have a heart. I can forgive. I am a big believer in second chances. We’re all learning. We should all be given the opportunity to improve ourselves. To prove progress. Just as I believe cancel culture prohibits people from growing, I encourage positive change from those who have proven to need it.
Communication is the way we connect. The way we can understand each other. Explain and forgive. Providing barriers for pain. Communicate your intentions so your actions don’t hurt others. Acknowledge and take responsibility for your mistakes and apologize when apologies are due. Reflect on the effects your actions have on others and move forward with new ways of preventing that hurt. While you may take all the time you need to work on yourself, communication is one simple way to keep that time from hurting those around you. A simple measure to acknowledge their time is also of value. If you do anything during your not so fine moments, make sure it is honest communication.
Lindsay Greenberg, providing perspective on how to live a magical life.