"You seem to be a great catch. Why are you still single?"

I never did understand how being a good catch while also being single remains such a mystery. Aren’t the fish in the sea that seem to be “a good catch” harder to reel in? There are so many reasons why people are single these days. There have been so many reasons for even just why I’ve been single. 

Pre- “prized catch” days, I looked at dating as a luxury I couldn’t afford. I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. I felt worthless. If I didn’t want myself, why would anyone else want me? 

Then, I got my freedom. Falling in love with my goals and my growth, daily. I wasn’t ready to share and quite honestly, I wasn’t sure I would ever want to. 

Fast forward to today, I know what I’m worth. What I have to offer. Just how “good” of a catch I really am. And I know what I want. What I would need in a man to be willing to make the compromises to share my life with him. I won’t be taking bait from just anyone. 

I recently responded to this “why are you still single” question with that exact fact. I explained how I know what I’m looking for and I won’t settle for less. This person then asked if I had an actual list to advise him on his quest to impress me. It was sweet. The flattery and care was enough to impress me already. I didn’t have a list then, but I made one. 

Vulnerable.
Good communicator.
Wants to be better everyday. 

I am an open book. You never have to wonder what I’m thinking or how I’m feeling. I am true through the entire process of my emotions. Sorting my thoughts outside my own head. I know most people aren’t wired this way. However, when someone can’t open up to me, I feel uninterested. I enjoy the deepness of life, and I wouldn’t be able to have a partner who didn’t. When I am left wondering what you are thinking or how you are feeling, I feel uneasy and rejected. I need a man who can communicate. Who knows how to self-reflect or can be vulnerable through that process. I need a man who seeks progress within his own character. Open to growth and excited about opportunities to do so. 

Cares about others.
Prioritizes giving back.

Like I’ve said throughout my blog posts, and most frequently over the past 4 years, politics IS personal. Morals are everything to me. My entire being pulls in the direction of helping others. Whether that means being a reliable, genuine friend to the people I’ve already chosen to be in my life, or lending a hand to a stranger. I focus everyday on making a difference in the world by making a difference in the lives of those I can reach. I can’t see sharing my life with someone who doesn’t align with these values. 

Adventurous.
Active.
Likes to try new things.

I actually used to have on my dating profile, “no picky eaters.” Food is something I love for myself, but also something I love sharing with others. Someone who is willing to try new foods or just enjoy food with me is a priority of mine no matter how selective, or picky, that may be. But I don’t just need someone to be adventurous when it comes to food, I need someone who finds joy from adventure, period. Someone who wants to explore. Travel and experience. I dream of living in a van. Waking up in a new place every morning. As unfortunate as this world can be, I don’t feel safe doing this alone. Hopefully, my future partner is someone who can appreciate and accept this dream for himself too. 

Thoughtful.

Because I’m so independent, it really won’t take much work to be my “other half.” I am extremely low-maintenance and take care of myself pretty flawlessly. While I may not need anyone to take care of me, it is always nice to feel appreciated. I would love to find someone who understands my love language. Who can navigate showing me love in the simple ways that I adore. Thoughtfulness goes a long way. It’s the little things that count to me. 

The truth is, I am perfectly happy on my own. I don’t have expectations for my future when it comes to marriage, and I know I don’t want children. Making this list isn’t stopping me from allowing those things to happen. Being picky most likely isn’t doing any more harm than good. I am always open to adapting my list. Making adjustments, adding or eliminating demands. At the end of the day, “what I’m looking for” is someone I don’t want to live without that feels the same about me.