Jews are among the most consistently liberal and democratic groups in the U.S. population. Israel is THE ONLY democracy in the Middle East. I will never understand how it is considered not liberal to be pro-Israel. There is no such thing as peace with Hamas in power and there never has been. 

You want someone to blame for the suffering and deaths of innocent Palestinians? Hamas is responsible for each and every civilian casualty. To Israel, every death is a tragedy. To Hamas, it’s a propaganda tool. Let’s not forget, in Hamas’s own charter, they say “The Day of Judgement will not come about until Moslems fight Jews and kill them. Then, the Jews will hide behind rocks and trees, and the rocks and trees will cry out: ‘O Moslem, there is a Jew hiding behind me, come and kill him.” 

There is no such thing as ceasefire with terrorists who only care about killing and dying for the cause. The former Hamas Prime Minister, Ismail Haniyeh, said, “We love death like our enemies love life.” A Hamas-affiliated Imam is quoted saying, “Our doctrine in fighting you, the Jews, is that we will totally exterminate you. We will not leave a single one of you alive.” Mahmoud Al-Zahar, Hamas Co-Founder says, “When we talk about ‘peaceful resistance,’ we are deceiving the public.” 

Guess what? There was a ceasefire October 6th that Hamas broke and said they'll continue to kill and repeat the horrors of October 7th even if another is set in place. They have broken every ceasefire in history with Israel. Not to mention…
THEY STILL HAVE HOSTAGES. 

One of the worst lies going around on social media is that Israel seeks the genocide of the Palestinian people. If Israel wanted genocide of Palestinians, they could wipe out Gaza with their weaponry and call it a day. Israel is THE ONLY side fighting this war who have ever offered Palestinians quality life and their morality in doing so is why they are at constant battle for survival. If Israel can't have peace (which Palestinians have turned down more than 10 times), they at the least need security. Israel has been putting their own security at risk for decades to try to give innocent Palestinians some form of quality life because their own government has zero concern about governing them. Why should that even be Israel's responsibility to take care of the people whose leaders want them dead? Why is no other Arab nation helping them and why do you only ever hear condemning of Israel? Because it's easiest to hate Jews.

The only genocide going on is against Jews. Hamas has outright told everyone their one mission is to kill Jews for being Jews and all Palestinian deaths in that mission only support their goal. When 4,000 Palestinians were slaughtered and 850,000 were displaced in the Syrian civil war, where was the outcry? When 2,500 Palestinians were killed and 30,000 were displaced by Lebanese militias, were you silent? When Israel defends itself against Hamas, why do you raise your voice against Israel’s right to defend itself? 

You'll keep seeing the word Zionist being used as a form of activism, people against Zionism... this is CRAZY. Zionism literally means believing Israel has the right to exist. Guess what? Israel has always belonged to the Jews. Anyone condemning Zionists or chanting “From the river to the sea” are actively calling for the destruction of Israel and the death to all its people. 

By now, more of you have realized this war is and never was about land. But in case you’re still convinced, completely contradictory to what Hamas has told you themselves, that Hamas is a resistance group fighting over land or “colonization”… indigenous people can’t colonize themselves! Jews have been living in Israel for over 3,000+ years. Israel has offered many peace treaties throughout history to give Palestinians their own state that Palestinian Authority turned down. 50,000 Jews displaced themselves and left Gaza to give the land to Palestinians in 2005 in hopes they would make a peaceful home for themselves but Hamas took over killing Palestinians and claiming the power necessary to achieve their goal to obliterate Israel. The only hope for a two-state solution is dislodging Hamas and giving the Palestinian people leaders who actually want that. Just like every other hopeful outcome in this war Israel can achieve by dislodging Hamas, land for innocent Palestinian people to live freely is one of those goals. 

For those of you so obsessed with numbers of deaths on each side, just how many babies were “actually” beheaded, somehow always forgetting about the innocent hostages, not only are you getting your numbers from the terrorist group who have proven themselves untrustworthy with behind the scenes footage of their film production of propaganda and faking deaths, but your numbers fail to mention how many of those Palestinian deaths are directly from the hands of Hamas. IDF aerial footage has repeatedly shown Hamas terrorists launching rockets at Israel from densely populated civilian areas in Gaza, including the misfired rocket which hit Al-Ahli hospital in Gaza. Hamas has built its intricate network of terrorist tunnels underneath hospitals, mosques, schools and homes, where it stockpiles its rockets and weaponry, as well as hides its operatives. Ever wonder why they wouldn’t use those tunnels to protect innocent civilians? Hamas don’t value life. They only see their civilians as tools of war. Shields for them and their weapons and numbers when they die to turn you against Israel. 

You want to talk about humanitarian aid and efforts to protect innocent civilians? IDF have made thousands of calls and texts warning Gaza civilians about unsafe territory. Dropped leaflets and attempted “roof-knocking” to guide Gaza civilians to safety. They even use their military tanks to protect Palestinians walking from the north to the south of Gaza as Hamas shoot at them! Hamas continues to urge or trap Palestinians to remain where they are because to Hamas, innocent Palestinians dying help their cause. Unlike Hamas, IDF want to prevent civilian casualties. Israel agreed to allow 1,200 trucks of humanitarian aid into Gaza each day. Hamas will only accept 400. Direct quote from Taher El-Nounou, Hamas Media Consultant: “I hope that the state of war with Israel will become permanent on all the borders.” Direct quote from Khalil al-Hayya, Hamas Leadership Member: “Hamas’s goal is not to run Gaza and to bring it water and electricity and such. This battle…did not seek to improve the situation in Gaza.” Gaza receives one of the highest levels of financial aid in the world. Aid to Gaza has totaled over $40 billion since 1994. Gaza should look like Dubai. Instead, the leaders of Hamas are multi billionaires living in Qatari mansions. Free the Palestinians from Hamas!

Since October 7th, the Barzilai Hospital in southern Israel has been directly hit three times by Hamas rocket fire, but I hear no outrage. In the past month we’ve seen Hamas use Gazan hospitals as terror bases, an Islamic Jihad rocket hit a Gazan hospital and Hamas fire indiscriminately at an Israeli hospital, but no one wants to talk about that. Why is it so easy for people to blame Jews and Israel? You don’t really care about Palestinians if you’re still rallying against Israel, the only people fighting to give Palestinians freedom. You hate that people are dying? Then support Israel as they end this war for good and take out Hamas. 

If Hamas wanted peace and stopped fighting today, the war would be over. If Israel put down their weapons, they would be obliterated, all Jews and Palestinians murdered and the rest of the world would be vulnerable next. 

This world has war. Saying, "I just want innocent people to stop dying," isn't going to change that. Open your eyes to the "sides" you get to choose from. 

It's Hamas, who vow to kill every Jew and then Americans next while using Palestinians as shields and martyrs and taking all humanitarian aid to buy weapons and build their mansions outside of Gaza. Hamas, who trap their civilians from evacuating because to them, every death is a win. Hamas, who hide their weapons and headquarters in private homes, mosques, churches, hospitals, and schools, blatantly using innocent Palestinians as tools of war. Hamas who vow to make this war never-ending and who brainwash their civilians from birth that “death to Jews” is the only right way. 

…or Israel, who has for years been giving Palestinians work and life necessities, even land, while being under direct threat of Hamas. While all other Arab nations turn their backs completely because of the threat, Israel continues to fight to END this war in the Middle East. Israel, the only democracy in the Middle East where you can be gay, a woman with rights, any ethnicity or religion. Where Arab Israelis, Druze, Bedouins, and Christian Israelis have full rights to serve in parliament. 

You can't support Palestinian people without supporting Israel to take down the only thing in the way of Palestinians and freedom. 

Have you ever heard someone say “don’t get emotional” or “stop crying” to a person in tears? Maybe you’ve said it or gotten it from a friend. While the intentions behind these comments are supportive, the phrases themself are quite the opposite. 


As a friend, I always encourage letting it out. Allowing yourself to feel each moment. No guilt, no sorries, no need to hold back what is true to your journey. There is nothing wrong with crying. There is nothing wrong with getting emotional. 


Leaning on a friend is being vulnerable. Sharing your struggle and allowing for help. Vulnerability thrives with acceptance. We must try our best to open our arms to someone else’s vulnerability. Offer a safe place to be authentic and open.


For some people, crying may seem unwanted. Like the goal is to refrain from it all together. But the truth is that crying is release. It is raw and natural and appropriate in whatever moment it happens. I personally take advantage of the times I feel like crying. An opportunity to loosen tension in my body, clear my head and refresh my mind. 


As the cryer, I appreciate when my company embraces me. Maybe asks what I need or simply reminds me that it’s okay and it’s going to be okay. As an empath, it’s important to me if the people in my presence are comfortable. It is helpful to be reassured that I am not bothering anyone. So as the supporter, I can only offer what I know. “Cry for as long as you want, I’m here.” Your crying is important. I am supportive of you and all your emotions. While it hurts me to know you are hurting, I am happy to be by your side. 


Any moment of vulnerability deserves to be valued. Emotions should be felt without judgement. It is a big responsibility to shut down someone else’s feelings. Write them off as unworthy. While this may seem like common sense, it has become too normal of a response to respond to tears with “stop it.” I hope we as a community can phase this out entirely. As a society of loving people who want the best for each other, I wish for us to let it out and encourage each other to do the same.

I have been very intentional lately about the energy I drop onto others. Going out of my way to spread good vibes. Promoting peace and kindness through action because I know these times carry heavy, dark weight. While I can’t offer someone a ticket out of whatever is burdening them, I’m a big believer in small acts of kindness. Whether I compliment a stranger’s outfit or wish someone a wonderful day, the goal is to leave someone with a smile. Putting into the universe opportunities for good hearted people to feel appreciated and to share love. Sending people into the rest of their days with a positive mood and confidence that can help them make a difference. 


You can never go wrong with kindness. Being nice is always the right move. Sharing joy and offering positive perspective is something we could all do more of. I believe positive thoughts are the key to happy living and sometimes positive thoughts are as easy to spread as saying them out loud. It might just be the inspiration someone needed. The motivation to keep going, or encouragement to pay it forward. The more lives we light up, the easier we’ll all see through the dark. If your candle is burning, you can use that flame to light another’s. We can all burn bright together.


A couple weeks ago I talked about focusing on the good. Reworking negative thoughts in an optimistic way. Believing in the goodness of people. The only person I can control is myself, so I must believe in my own goodness. My ability to make the world a better place. Putting out what I have to offer. Some people might see rain and feel bitter, wishing instead for the sun. I could be the one to rescript that narrative. “The rain is so peaceful today, I’m loving it” just might be enough to guide someone onto a more appreciative path. Handing out new perspective to anyone who might grab it. We all have so much to be grateful for and we are all guilty of sometimes needing that reminder. 


Satisfy your soul with positive thinking and then open the doors to that perspective for those around you. Inviting the souls around you to ignite. When it’s as simple as complimenting a stranger or sharing your own positive perspective, what’s stopping you? Joy is not sacrificed when shared, it is illuminated. Imagine a world of happy people. Darkness wouldn’t stand a chance.

It's time I'm honest with myself about the power I actually carry on social media to make a political difference. I might spread knowledge, raise awareness, stand in solidarity with those who are struggling to be heard, but am I setting forward real change? If any, social media activism is barely allowing me to set forward any change at all. My efforts there are draining me from being able to provide on the platform where I can actually make a difference.




With the heaviness of the world drowning me more and more, a weight I know so many others feel too, my purpose in life is only being distracted by my longing to be a savior I can't possibly be. I've thought about quitting before. Quitting social media altogether or simply staying out of politics. But I feel guilty. Guilt from the luxury of being able to sit back on my privilege. How I don't have to actively fight and argue about injustice in my everyday personal life and I need to help those who do. It makes me sick, burns a fire through my body, that so many people are born into that suffering. I cannot imagine my worth being questioned because of the color of my skin, who I LOVE, or where I was born. Defending myself to people low enough to judge me for something they could simply appreciate or ignore. No one should ever have to feel afraid to be themselves. 




When it comes down to it, I know I put in work behind the scenes. I educate myself and am prepared when real life conversations arise to debate with facts and confidence in what I believe in. I donate to causes I support and volunteer when I can be of use. I also recognize that I could volunteer a whole lot more and am dedicated to making sure that happens. I preach about leaving what's out of my control be, yet continue to get wrapped up in this fantasy I can change politics through Instagram. While my best friend graduates Law school and goes through the grueling process of what it takes to truly make a difference in the political world, I know that is not my legacy. I may not be able to make a political difference through my social media, but I am confident I can help people live healthier and more fulfilling lives through this outlet.




While social media has its toxic sides - propaganda, malicious trolls, racists, sexists, homophobic bullies, and most commonly the "do-gooder" influencers who set fake standards for real life - I believe that's all just dust in a world of construction. Gets in your eyes, but doesn't stop progress. I am, for the most part, a fan and advocate of social media providing positive change if used in the right way. Jobs for artists, a place to connect with people all around the world, encourage and inspire people's mind, body and soul. Whether you find entertainment at the end of a busy day from funny, lighthearted memes, or find a new restaurant shared and recommended by a stranger, social media provides content for many areas in life. Unfortunately, these pleasures come with constant battles. Social media isn't a blissful place to enjoy these perks. It's a battlefield where the only way to win is constant dodging and fighting against harmful detonations. 




I do believe I hold leadership through social media. My power? Authenticity. My transparency with personal experiences and sharing relatable and raw content on issues such as depression, anxiety, body image, self-esteem, weight-loss and so much more. Offering tips on healthy eating and enjoyable exercise. Simple recipes and fitness routines that work for me and might actually work for you too! I am an example of what works to transform a hopeless and unhealthy life into a thriving future. I am proof that no matter how dark life gets, light will always be there for you to grab onto. I am inspired daily by other health and lifestyle influencers. All sorts of people from all different backgrounds whose bravery to be vulnerable in such a public way is actively setting forth freedom to so many more. I fill with joy from interactions with people who have benefitted from my blog and are willing to share their stories with me right back. All of this, even while happening through social media, restores my faith in humanity. 




So this is my vow. To practice what I preach. To spend less energy on matters out of my control. Less pain watching fights from the sidelines. Splattered in blood from boxing matches where nobody wins. I will focus on what I can change. The movements I believe social media is truly good for. Spreading love. Supporting others. Painting over the glossy, perfected facades with the messy,  raw and relatable realities. Stretch marks, insecurities, bad days. Mistakes, accountability and growth. Imperfections shouldn't be secrets when they are something we all possess. I vow to stick to what I love about social media: The actual ability to make a difference. And with that, I will listen to my heart. Continue to fight against injustice in the ways I know make a difference, but remind myself that a platform on social media isn't enough to change politics. I have always argued that the best way to better the world is one person at a time, starting with myself.

I have liberal views, I pray for progress in our world, but I am not a supporter of “cancel culture.” I’m referring to boycotting people & attempting to remove them from their jobs or public platforms as a consequence for offensive words or actions. Call-out culture is one thing. Public people inevitably receive public shaming for their wrongdoings and sometimes, hopefully, that leads to a lesson learned. But to take away someone’s opportunity to grow would be going against these progressive goals. Taking away the chance for a public display of positive change would be defeating the entire purpose of shifting cultural views. If taking responsibility and committing to learning and being better isn’t enough, what are we possibly hoping for? 


I encourage transformation. Admire vulnerability when taking responsibility for damage caused. Owning the pain inflicted on another, even if by mistake. When someone is hurting because of something I did, I like to first apologize for causing them pain. Then, I try to learn how to avoid doing it again. My mistakes may come with consequences, but they also provide opportunity to better myself. 


I value the ability to empathize. An open mind to the power our actions as individuals hold. We mustn’t rely on others to hold us accountable for our hurtful actions. Demanding or requiring an explanation as to why someone is offended is not only unfair, it is selfish. We are responsible for researching those answers for ourselves. We must all recognize the levels of trauma each and every person might be battling in private. Just as you wouldn’t tell someone screaming from a burning building to be quiet, we must be mindful and never dictate how someone is allowed to respond to their own traumas. 


While I always encourage standing tall to what passes through out of our control, I don’t take the argument that it is on the offended party to “be less sensitive.” We’re all human and at the end of the day we can’t always control how other people make us feel. If we want peace and joy, we must share the common goal of treating each other with kindness. Working towards understanding, supporting growth and providing love for one another. While it is our responsibility to build a tough exterior for our minds, it is also important to be cautious of where others are in that journey. 


When someone in the public eye makes an error in judgment but promises growth, I believe there are compromises more beneficial than “cancelling” them. If a mistake or instilled views from a person’s past is the be-all, end-all of their character, how can we possibly instigate the change this world needs? Change is not only possible, but it happens everyday! Coming together, agreeing to disagree in a respectful manner, listening and learning from each other is not only attainable, it’s necessary. So while trust needs time to be built, that time has to be given to allow room for this change we seek. Effort to not only make amends, but heal within ourselves, and the support to do so, are in my opinion key ingredients to a functioning society. 


By believing and preaching change is possible, we set forth progress in the right direction. I understand firsthand how one person can live many different lives and I am a firm believer in a person’s ability to transform. We must avoid setting the tone that people can not change their ways. Practice holding people accountable for their current intentions and supporting them as they become better people.  


When it comes to situations like with Ellen Degeneres or Chris Harrison from The Bachelor, we must respect the timeline of those healing from their actions. Listen to the victims of their words. But to try to erase these people instead of cultivate from these moments would be a mistake. Let us support people on their journey to becoming more understanding human beings. Just as we encourage people to learn in private, we have a chance to share that example with a wider audience. Demonstrating forgiveness and offering love, faith and acceptance as a way of healing. 


While we may not be able to run away from our pasts, it’s inspiring to see how far we can come from previous lows. To be open and honest about where we come from. Providing a realistic image of a “kind person,” and painting attainable goals for humans to be “good.” Instead of “cancelling” someone for their wrongs, I hope we can start encouraging people to be honest about their room for improvement and then allow them that room to improve.

I’m white, I’m privileged, but I’m angry. I am looking for ways to help. I am lending my hand and using my voice. I am self-educating because I feel it is my responsibility to do so with the advantages I have been dealt. I don’t have to deal with racism, but I choose to. Depending on my privilege to ignore these problems is a luxury I will not allow others to suffer from. A luxury that would be selfish to indulge in. Not getting involved is choosing a side. Imagine not having a choice. 


I know the opportunities I have been given come directly from factors out of my control. White, grew up away from violence, married parents, education paid for, not once have I worried about having food on the table. What about those born into a different story? Smarter, more capable than me yet hindered by those things and many more.


As a white person, I carry white privilege. As an influencer, I have a platform to make a difference. No matter what struggles we as white people have in our own lives, we do not have to live in fear because of the color of our skin. Deal with wrongful assumptions, unkind judgments, or microaggressions because of the color of our skin. An act of racism can be so small it slides under our radar. Sadly unrecognizable in what has become the norm of our society. Why are we waiting until necks are kneeled on, and innocent people are murdered to trend hashtags acknowledging these injustices? Let’s do better in recognizing where racism can be stopped.


Black lives and other people of color need our help. I have provided a link that I found helpful, listing some actions we can take in the efforts towards racial justice. Please, ask for resources. Google, read, listen to educators, stories, their pain. If it makes you uncomfortable, let that fuel your determination to make a change. If it shocks you, let that be a reminder of our privilege.


I am so proud of my friends and my family, using their voice and resources to spread knowledge and make a difference. Raising their children to understand the challenges others face daily. Having uncomfortable and unnatural conversations on matters that may not exist within their bubble, so more people can use their privilege for good. More selfless leaders can replace abusers of power. More open-minded, open-hearted love can spread. Every time I see posts fighting these causes, I have confidence I’m surrounding myself with the right people. If you’re worried you might be “annoying” posting about politics, and Black Lives Matter, I suggest asking yourself one thing: Is it “annoying” to call out injustice? If you think your voice doesn’t make a difference, ask yourself if just one person might hear you. 


Please, stand up for the people whose necks are being kneeled on. The people who can’t run on their own two feet without being shot down. Anyone and everyone who was made uncomfortable going about their business solely because of the color of their skin. Stop depending on your privilege to ignore the problems that are literally killing innocent people. They are asking for our help. Begging for our recognition. Our understanding. We need to do better. Imagine a society where respect is given before taken away. Where love is offered before it’s neglected. Where we all help in the ways we can. Ask yourself how you can do better. How we as a society can be better. Black lives matter. Say it, spread it, prove you believe it. 

105 Things White People Can Do For Racial Justice

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I used to feel so much anger from the stigma of selfishness associated with suicide that it didn’t seem worth it to stick around at all. Of course I wanted to survive for the people I cared about, but how selfish was it for anyone to ask me to suffer even for just another day.

As much as I’m incredibly grateful my suicidal thoughts never took my life from me, I still believe that I didn’t necessarily always have control over fighting another day. With many public suicides being shared, I have witnessed an unfortunate display of responses. It seems there is a three way split with the way this is viewed. There are the people who understand that they don’t understand. Those who are not ignorant on the matter that if they haven’t gone through it themselves, they have no right speaking their judgements. There are the people who have either lost someone through suicide, or have an opinion based on stories, facts, or just simply the news. These people have emotions, and they may have opinions but fortunately for you all, you haven’t been on the other side of these thoughts, you haven’t felt it. The emptiness that has no more desire to be filled. The cold darkness that has frozen the longing to be warm. The guilt process thinking about who we’re leaving behind. These things have probably all been experienced by the third type of person reacting to suicide. These are the kinds of people who have been masked by the cloud and can relate to all the thoughts or missing pieces of a human who struggles with suicidal thoughts. 

To me it would feel selfish for anyone to need me to stay on this planet miserable, hopeless, just for their own security. I should fight a gruesome fight, one I don’t see winning or even caring if I do just so you don’t miss me? So you don’t need to question what more you could have done? The biggest thing I hope the people left behind can take away from a suicide is that it was nobody else. The feelings inside of someone struggling with the thought to take their own life belong to their illness. We can try treatment, or not, but if it came down to a life being taken, the only thing you can do is grieve. Try not to ask questions. Questions won’t bring them back. Do not take responsibility. You were not their depression. Love the others who also lost this life and continue to look for signs of people who could use some light in their life. 

When I hear about a suicide, this is how I grieve.
I feel shock. They were able to go through with their plan. Their family has to now cope with this tragic loss.
I feel angry. Another person whose mind was taken over by this nasty illness. Another person who wasn’t able to find happiness, who struggled every single day just to be alive and never got to truly live. 
I wonder. Wonder if there was anything I could have done or said to save this person. Curious if I have enough answers or insight to change a life like I did my own.
I feel sad. It came down to death. I remember what it was like to think that was my only option. 
I feel acceptance. This is the reality of the situation. I can’t bring this person back. There really isn’t anything I can say to the loved one’s left behind that will make this pain go away. 
I feel hopeful. I believe this person is relieved of their struggles. The darkness they fought so long will not bother them anymore. I feel hopeful that this suicide will bring more awareness to mental illness. 

The most positive thing you can do from experiencing a suicide, is listen to what you may not understand, and accept what you don’t. The more someone’s community can be there without pretending they know the answers, the more validation the person struggling can gain that there aren’t clear cut answers. One day, maybe, they will be happy too. 

There were so many occurrences where the only thing stopping me from taking my own life was knowing I'd be leaving behind the ONLY thing I cared about, the people I love most. With recently viral topics like 13 Reasons Why and Aaron Hernandez's suicide stirring response over social media, I felt it was time to share my view on just how important it is to not make jokes around this matter.

Reading these sarcastic, inconsiderate remarks, and watching people take this subject so lightly, reminds me that it was those types of triggers that could have pushed me over the edge. To say suicide is a sensitive subject is the understatement of the century. When you are dealing with suicidal thoughts they can cluster so stormy in your mind that even the smallest thing can flush out any light, any reason to take another breath. I didn't need to be lectured not to, I didn't need to just "get my mind off of it", "go to sleep and think with a clear head tomorrow", and I ESPECIALLY did not need to believe that it wasn't a big deal. It IS a big deal. I stuck around and everything changed for me. My friends and family got to watch me fill my darkness with color. I live everyday as if it's the greatest miracle just to enjoy getting out of bed in the morning. There could have been a tweet or a Facebook post asking "where are my tapes" that enabled me to finally go through with it. My friends and family would have had to mourn knowing it was too late to help me. The life they all saw for me robbed in the moment. It is critical that we, as a society of human beings, believe in each other. Believe in positive change, success, bright futures. If it weren't for the people who held on to these beliefs for me when I did not see them, who knows what my story would be today. Whether you think Aaron Hernandez deserved to die or not, the topic of suicide is a deep matter to far more innocent and hurting people and we need to be cautious the way we respond. Promoting humor around the topic is threatening. Every person lives a different story and especially with the media you can't possibly know the truth. If a clever meme comes to mind, enjoy it at your own expense. Social media posts are public and can be seen by anyone, at any time, even the wrong time. Don't let your carelessness be the reason somebody finally takes the plunge.