Waves ripple on at their own timelines. Gentle curls followed by the thundering crash of the deeper, heavier breakers. The sea embraces them all. Quiet, at moments, but I know that time is special. Awaiting the next rumbles. The sounds of the ocean keep me present. It can’t be calm forever, that’s what lakes are for. 


We’ve all heard it before. Life with its ups and downs. Just when you feel you’ve got it all figured out, something comes along that has you questioning everything. How can I possibly feel sadness when my life feels so sweet? All my dreams coming true right before my eyes yet tears still blur my vision. Who am I to struggle when people would die to live my life? Guilt creeps in. As if it’s my obligation to not let in unfortunate feelings. The glory I am offered everyday mustn’t go to waste. 


That’s the thing about life. Sure we might feel as though we’re doing everything right. As if happiness is the simple outcome to a clear cut equation. But when those downs come knocking, even at the door to my dream beach bungalow, it can feel like the whole world is crashing down on me. Gasping to get out from the wave that is pulling me under. How did I end up treading water again? 


I remind myself of my strength. I can’t drown, I’m too good of a swimmer. I have confidence in my ability to reach the surface and what greets me when I do. How good that first breath is once I break through. Refreshed by the realization that I made it. Heart beating fast. I look around with peace in my eyes. That special moment of silence. Excitement. My world feels like mine again. 


Moving forward I find new focus on my morals. My purpose, what difference I wish to make, how I want to feel and steps towards making that happen. I start with what I admire about the people I love most. 


My parents have this ability to always put others first. To make the lives of the people around them, and those they don’t even know, as easy as possible. No hesitation of the sacrifices that may mean for themselves. “We will make do whatever it is.” But they not only make do, they make the best of whatever situation. Whether it’s finding humor from the stress or planning something to look forward to that’s more fitting to the circumstance. Hosting get togethers, traveling far distances, changing plans they were excited about to better accommodate someone else. Finding joy in the simple fact that others will be happier. 


A lot of the time I feel conflicted with the idea of “faking it.” I am a very straight-forward person and forcing myself to do anything I don’t enjoy seems unnecessary. But, it is necessary. What I admire from my parents is the maturity and will they have to be adults. To force a smile in order to make someone else’s genuine. I think they even find a way to rework their truth, because making other people happy is what brings them the most joy. They truly support others, by showing up and by understanding what is important. The most successful plan is one that works for everyone. 


So what pulls me out of my downs, the buoy to my stormy sea? Focus on helping others. Taking the anxiety away from my worries and my mind and letting myself be distracted by one simple goal. Make someone’s day at the grocery store. Find someone who could use some help, whether it be an elderly person carrying groceries to their car or someone who looks lost. My anxiety freezes when I share my warmth with others.  


The response to my blog has been incredible. The pure drive to my motivation is the impact I’m able to create just by sharing my story. I think that is why writing is also so effectively therapeutic to me. Releasing my stress into words that will hopefully help others. The best part of life, in my opinion, is that we are never stuck. We always have the opportunity to self-motivate and refocus on the things we believe matter most. When I look at what brings me down as a challenge instead of beating myself up about it, I rewrite a negative into a positive. Not a burden, but rather a chance to feel stronger. So yeah, life can get me down. But each and every time I rise up from those downs, my highs feel higher and the view becomes fuller. I choose to immerse myself in actions I can be proud of. The more I swim, the stronger I get.

I’ve had my fair share of traumatic experiences. In and out of emotional rehabilitation programs...psych wards if you will, close family members dying from cancer or sudden heart aneurisms, my own brother’s sudden death. As open and honest as I like to be, to create a space where the most people can relate, I feel sharing my extended list of trauma would be more depressing to read than inspirational. What concerns me now and what I’d like to work through publicly, hopeful to offer some, if any aid, is my attachment to experiences that affect me.


My most recent birthday I was able to put together a trip with one of my closest friends and my parents. We all met up at my parents’ place in Las Vegas and flew together, with my dog, to Big Sur for the week. The night before we left for Big Sur was one of the scariest nights of my entire life.


We were sitting at a high top table in the bar of Zuma, a contemporary Japanese restaurant located at the Cosmopolitan. I was sitting next to my friend across from my parents. Just as we were finishing our meal my dad put his head between his hands. He has suffered from migraines his whole life and recently found a solution to live migraine free. I was confused because I knew he hadn’t gotten a migraine in months so I asked him if he was getting one. No response. He lifted his head up and had the most empty and blank stare I’ve ever witnessed from a human being. Immediately concerned I shouted across the table for a response. It was then his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell to the floor unconscious.


My track record with these things isn’t very good. It feels almost like I’m waiting for the next bad thing to happen to me. As if it was more surprising for my dad to be all right than it would for his life to have just ended. This would happen the night before my 26th birthday. I remember begging Jeffrey, my brother who had only been gone less than 2 years, to please not take him from us yet. In that moment, I felt as though I couldn’t move on if anything happened to my father. I wouldn’t be okay.


After being taken by ambulance to the hospital and having several tests and monitoring done, it was determined he had fainted from dehydration and a sudden drop in blood pressure. Similar to the vertigo and fainting spells I suffer from myself, it was unpleasant and scary, but not life altering. He had to check his blood pressure each day, but he was totally fine. Although this situation was one I could put in the past, no one died, no life changes needed to be made, it stuck with me worse than I’d expect. The factor that makes it different, my imagination.


I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it: My emotions are controlled by my mind. While I may not be able to control which thoughts pop into my head, I have the power to rewrite and overpower them. I always have the capability to create positive thoughts, thoughts that serve me well. Thoughts that motivate me, bring a smile to my face, spark the lightbulb providing me hope and determination. It still gives me the jitters to relive these experiences. The emotions I dealt with at the time were so strong they linger. But today I have lived through those experiences and onto better ones. I am not consumed by what’s happened to me in my past, but enlightened. I’ve learned coping skills, I’ve built stronger defense mechanisms. While I may be terrified of life after my father’s gone, I know I’m a survivor. The silver lining of trauma is I‘m still here. Trauma doesn’t define me, it molds me. Whatever comes next, I’ll handle it. When memories or old emotions resurface, I can choose to respect their presence but remain unattached. Remain free from my past and open to my future. These experiences that have impacted me so strongly will always be a part of who I am, but who I am is a woman who looks forward. I choose happiness when it’s an option and I refuse to stay stuck in old emotions.

I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that it’s my responsibility to make the best situation out of each and every turn life paves for me. Road trips aren’t enjoyable when it’s just traveling from point A to point B. It’s the stories, the sights, the memories. The car breaking down in that funny little town I’d never stop in and the wrong turn down an unexpected road that I decide to get a little extra lost in. It’s the adventure that gives the trip substance. The humor found from moments of frustration and the beauty within the unforeseen. 


Happiness is not drawn from circumstance. Whether you think you need to be rich, famous, married, etc, the key is to focus on what you have. Gratitude, attitude and perspective. Maybe you’re struggling to make ends meet and temporarily unable to support yourself the way you hoped. Perhaps you hadn’t considered a lower budget lifestyle. Now you have access to raw, sustainable joy. Not the kind you buy, the kind you learn. We have everything we need to maintain a happy lifestyle in our mind and in our heart. Attitude is the switch between letting circumstance shut us down or turn us on. 


It may be easier to convince myself that everything comes with a reason. A simple understanding to why bad things happen to good people. An idea of hope and progression. What’s good is still to come. 


I like to believe that my power is stronger than the universe. 


My cards aren’t already selected. I’m not just waiting around for them to be dealt. My deck is filled with wild cards. The value of each card, or circumstance if you will, is what I give it. You see, my life has a myriad of destinies. Things happen to me and then I happen to them.​ I always get the final call and folding is not an option. The game never ends. Seeking value, interpreting positive perspective, motivating the courage to continue, these are just a few of my strategies. The glimmer of what’s to come shines ahead and attracts me to my progress. I might have to crawl at times, dragged on my hands and knees, but when I get back up, I earn one of life’s tokens. The greatest prize a human player can achieve. I made it through to the next level. Adding new tools to my collection, unlocking strength and uncovering fresh knowledge. I am stronger now, ready to take on what’s next. 


There’s only one option when I play the game of life: winning. It might not always seem like I’m on a road to success, but with a winning mindset, I become stronger with every move. Why crumble when I can fly? Why let life’s challenges defeat me when it’s battling them that make me vigorous? It’s my life and I choose to make the most of it. Too many landmarks, celebrations, even the tiniest moments of pleasure waiting for my arrival. My life is my story filled with my decisions. My destiny remains unwritten and the pen’s in my hand.

Lately I’ve had the same point arise amongst me and my friends. The hesitation to trust our own judgement, intuition or feelings. We end up blaming our discomfort on the illusion that we have this inability to see clearly. Making excuses for a seemingly forced situation. I’ll use dating as an example. I know three women, all incredible and single in this frustrating era of dating. Strong, mature, independent women who I know to be smart decision makers. My first friend is having a hard time working through “damage” from her first love. Wondering if her judgement is strong enough to find confidence in having felt tricked in her past. Unwilling to settle, it seems as though her loss in hope that someone will excite her fully again is causing her to minimize or ignore red flags. My second friend is longing for consistency in a relationship, trying to navigate dating in Los Angeles. She has been dating a new guy, wavering back and forth on how strong their connection is. It seems so rare to find a catch that she may be stretching her feelings for him, wishing she had more attraction than she actually feels. The third woman is me. I was stuck in a long distance romance of mystery and unknowns that I was unable to let go of for 3 years. My heart is committed but my mind has known for a while that this isn’t working. Shouldn’t my heart and my mind be in harmony to accept the love I deserve? 


These three situations have a reoccurring theme. Do you notice that when you question your gut, try to tell yourself why you should feel differently, it usually comes full circle and those doubts come to surface? It’s ignoring these initial red flags that get us into situations where those same threats linger and collapse on us. Yes, you may have trusted your intuition before and it led you down what felt like the “wrong road”, but didn’t you learn a valuable lesson? Don’t you feel like you’re more knowledgeable moving forward? Your feelings adapt and adjust subconsciously. We don’t need to remind our mind and our heart what we’ve gone through, they remember. You’re never too deep in anything to make a decision or a change that can open the door to a happier life.


I recently had a conversation with my mother about my moving on from my long distance connection. I told her I have a lot of questions now about how I handle being in love. Why I’ve been so closed off and stuck in this relationship for so long. How there is so much to uncover and explore with these newly opened sides of me, and I’d love her help working out some of these perspectives. Her response was this. “I don't think you need to “ask yourself questions" about being stuck. You know me--look forward, girl! You keep doing you and you will meet whoever you need to meet!” 


When I first read this I wasn’t sure I agreed. I was so excited about taking this opportunity to learn more about myself in a way I’ve never explored. I find worth from hardships through the effort and rewards I make growing as an individual. But as these signs keep popping up, as I’m giving advice to friends on trusting their intuition and following the energy they truly feel, I understand what she was saying. 


Overthinking is a common roadblock for anyone in tune with themselves. It’s not a lost concept that overthinking causes anxiety and makes life harder than it already is. Creating defenses for behavior that bothers us or trying to reason explanations for why we feel unsettled is only distracting us from following our natural journey. We are who we are, we attract who we attract, but we grow from moving forward. Just because we like someone, does not mean they are meant to stay in our life. Listen to your mind AND your heart and make sure to include them both with your decision making. 


When it comes to relationships, romantic or not, we must choose the right people for our success. If something feels off, try not to question yourself. Our feelings give us the information we need to attract what brings us joy, defeat what burdens our souls, stand strong to what we fear, and eliminate worry with what is out of our control. ​Read more about identifying and responding to emotions. Not everyone connects in a beneficial way. Just because you enjoy spending time with someone or miss someone when you’re apart doesn’t mean they’re a healthy contributor to your life. Keep in mind your energy when you’re around or thinking about certain people. When it comes to choosing who you spend your time with, be wise, be selfish, but be honest.

Are you a blogger who feels overwhelmed by your relationship with social media? Constantly fighting the idea of quitting, drawn back by the opportunities it provides? Battling gratefulness for the exposure and burn out from the demand? For those bloggers out there relying on social media & personal advertising as means to build your goals & reach new viewers, I’m sure you can relate to some of these ideas.    
Taking breaks when your mind & body hint for them is SUCH an important piece of mental health. One that many wellness bloggers often discuss and promote. Read my post on rest here, Something To Be Said About Rest. Social media jobs are often misunderstood and carry the title of an “easier” job. What we do everyday may not seem as obviously tasking, but mentally, it is exhausting. Constantly judging ourselves as well as being judged, publicly. Working tirelessly to provide content that can inspire and motivate people who don’t have the tools or the time to generate themselves. It is so easy for us to take our work home with us because for most of us, we work from home. Finding it hard to separate our resting time with our work when social media is used as an outlet to rest for so many. Bloggers should be recognized. Blogger fatigue is REAL. It is vital to practice what we preach and take our resting time seriously.

The thing that makes me happiest is interacting with new readers. Learning from their stories & feeling inspiration from their journeys. It is so gratifying to be able to reach all kinds of people from all across the world & I truly appreciate this platform for connecting us. How can I walk away from the gateway between my life and my mission? The enabler of my hopes and dreams. Nothing makes me happier than opening my instagram to a message saying “you inspired me to live a better life.” I’m convinced my mental health is better off sticking with it, the takeaways are just too positive. However, I believe I can find a balance. A world in which I can take my moments of true rest. Find a way to separate my work from my rest, stimulating my better self for my assignments.  

What if we unite to encourage mental health “breaks” WHILE promoting each other? Take some stress away by REPOSTing a fellow blogger, spreading positive messages while showing some love to our peers! Take a day, or more, off from stressing about our own material. Instead, use your break day to inspire your viewers as well as expose and promote a blogger you admire. Let’s use the hashtag #webreak4mentalhealth to recognize our own self care while continuing to network & inspire. 

If you’re interested in helping/joining this movement, repost one of my posts (https://www.instagram.com/linzybinzy120/) with #webreak4mentalhealth & don’t forget to tag me! This process will pay it forward as more & more bloggers can reach a wider audience & take personal breaks from creating content!

I love and appreciate each & every one of you who take the time to work on yourself, and I’m HONORED to grow with you all. This could be a really powerful way for us all to find some relief! Stay sparkling & keep sharing your magic!✨